This will be a four part series on the gospel and self-esteem, responding to common claims made about Christian self-esteem. The parts have all been written but are too long for one post so I’ll post one part a day for four days. The parts are:

Dangerous Claims
The Danger in Modern Thinking
Love for the Unlovable
Responding to the Love of God

A PDF is available: The Gospel and Self-Esteem

Part 4: Responding to the Love of God

At the end of the last section I said that the gospel of self-esteem delivers a “cruel deception.” Saint Augustine helps us see the reason why. In his Confessions he says, “…to praise you is the desire of man, a little piece of your creation. You stir man to take pleasure in praising you, because you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” While the gospel of self-esteem initially points people to God, it does so in order to point back at self. God is the means to help us feel better about ourselves, to help us find rest in ourselves, to help us soothe our troubled consciences. But since we were created to find our rest in God, the gospel of self-esteem can never deliver satisfaction and contentment. Even as it claims to help people feel better, it leads people deeper into darkness.

Rest can never be found by seeking knowledge of self-worth. We are created with one driving need: to worship the living God. Until we have him, we will not be satisfied. Unless we are consumed with him, we will not be satisfied. Until he is our delight, we will not be satisfied. Delight yourself in the Lord, the Psalmist says in Psalm 37:4, and he will give you the desires of your heart. When God is your delight, you will get what you desire – you will find rest in God.

Part of what makes the gospel amazing is that through Jesus Christ we have the possibility of rich, deep, soul-satisfying fellowship with God. The gospel is not about self-esteem but the gospel does tell us over and over that God loves us. His love for us is real and because of his love and mercy and grace he sent his Son to die for us so that we might have life with him, in him, and through him. Our response to his love ought never be to join him in loving ourselves; our response ought to be love for him.

God is the chief object of our love, as reflected in the great commandment of Matthew 22:37-38: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Other people are collectively (and individually!) the second object of our love, as shown in the second commandment of Matthew 22:39: And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The idea of this second command is not to stir self-love but to promote the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Love is our response to love. In 1 John 4:19 we are told, we love because he first loved us. From love comes worship and obedience. We worship him, glorifying him, because we want the world to see our great Savior. Love champions its object. I love my wife so I speak affectionate things to her and tell others about her. I love my kids so I praise them and tell people what amazing things they have done. I love God and he is much more magnificent than they so I ought to focus on him with my whole being, praising him with my life, lifting him up and doing all I can to direct every eye toward him, sharing with the world his majestic acts for me. This is worship.

We are obedient to him because we know our obedience pleases him. Obedience is a sign of a child’s loving heart. Disobedience shows only hardness. In a homily on 1 John 4:4-12 Augustine issued a famous – and famously abused – line: “Love, and do what you will.” A short time later he says, “let the root of love be within, of this root can nothing spring but what is good.” When our love is genuine (keeping in mind that not everything called love really is love), and our actions are motivated by our love, our actions will be good. In all things we do our motivation has nothing to do with self-esteem or self-worth, our focus is wholly on Christ. This is the cure to depression and low self-esteem: to be so drawn to Christ that self isn’t even in the picture.

In John 15:1-11 Jesus gives the “recipe for happiness,” the means by which our joy is made full. It is not by being satisfied with self, it is by dwelling in the love of God and living for him:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.