Posted by Chris Roberts on December 30th, 2009 at 2:52 pm.
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I had originally left this out of the previous post. Added it back in when I realized my mistake, but wanted to go ahead and give it its own post as well.
Reasons for Divorce
I want to say a little more on why a husband or wife might decide to divorce his or her spouse.
Scripture does not offer many specific examples. We know in the case of adultery divorce is permitted. And we know from Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that there might be other situations that make divorce permissible. How might a husband or wife decide if a divorce should take place?
First, we recognize that divorce is never mandated in Scripture. Even in the case of adultery, divorce does not have to occur. In the case of adultery, the decision rests with the offended spouse.
But we noted from Deuteronomy that a spouse might divorce for various kinds of indecent behavior, actions that are repugnant to the married life. We also said that abuse is one example. If a man is abusing his wife and/or children, his wife would be justified in divorcing her husband and getting herself and her children to safety. Or if a wife is a drug addict and refuses to give up her addiction, her husband is justified to divorce in order to protect himself and his children from the consequences of drug use. Many other examples of this sort could be given.
The thing to remember is that the offense cannot be casual. The Jews found ways to justify divorce if the wife burned her husband’s breakfast or other similar nonsense. Today a husband might divorce if he wants to marry someone he finds more attractive or appealing. None of these cases involve justified divorce. Similarly, one cannot divorce with the claims of incompatibility. I believe it is sin to divorce for any reasons involving selfish motive or ambition or how one feels about the quality of a marriage.
Divorce is justified if one spouse is chronically engaged in sinful activity that is harmful to the spouse or the children and he or she refuses to repent and turn from his or her sinful actions. A husband or wife may find divorce the last resort, the only way to be protected from spousal sin. Even after divorce reconciliation should be sought, working to lead the sinning spouse to repentance.
Posted by Chris Roberts on December 30th, 2009 at 2:18 pm.
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Download as PDF: Christians And Divorce
Introduction
In this post I do not intend to give a comprehensive discussion of divorce, though I will cover a lot of ground. On Sunday nights I have been preaching through the Sermon on the Mount and this week we tackle Matthew 5:31-32 where Jesus discusses divorce. Since I will need to preach on divorce, it is a good time to solidify my own understanding of divorce. This post is a sort of dumping ground for my thoughts.
Let me say that I recognize the seriousness and sensitivity of this issue. I do not approach the issue lightly. Many people have experienced a great deal of pain because of divorce. But because it is so serious in society today we must strive all the more to understand what the Bible teaches us about divorce.
Summary
For the 98% of you that will not want to wade through my five seven pages of discussion (Nathan, you have to read it), here is a summary:
The first place to start when considering divorce is to consider marriage. This special covenant between a man and a woman is a work of God and should never be ended lightly. One should not try to find ways to divorce one’s spouse. One should instead work for ways to reconcile a troubled marriage. But while divorce is far too common in our society, there are times when a man or woman is justified in divorcing his or her spouse. Certainly in the case of adultery the offended spouse would be justified if he or she decided to divorce, but other cases of marital failing can also justify a divorce. Examples would be abuse and neglect. But only in the case of adultery are the individuals allowed to remarry. A divorce is a legal proceeding in which the state recognizes the dissolution of a marriage but God only recognizes a marriage’s end when a spouse dies or if a spouse commits adultery. For example, a woman might divorce her abusive husband for the safety of her and her children but she is not automatically allowed to remarry (see the discussion below for an example of when she might be permitted to remarry). She should seek reconciliation where her husband repents and turns from his violence.
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